the dirt i wear

Be the gift for those you love!

I would be straight up lying if i said the holidays weren't a bit of a temptation for me. I mean do not get me wrong the holidays and i are real close friends, however, at the end of the day there is still this piece of me that feels almost dirty….

Shiny lights, beautiful green wreaths, no class, the constant aroma of cinnamon and just sugar,
the sound of Irving Berlin's White Christmas soundtrack, the gathering of friends and family, the giving, the getting….where is the dirt? Two days ago while enjoying all of these i was overcome by a  huge presence of dissatisfaction. I can say a thousand times in my head "Samantha, but what is all of this about, why do we get to enjoy all of this" and every time i will point it back to Him, but every time i will still get a bit caught up, and that is when i get a big slap in the face and drop to my knees in thanksgiving.

How scary would this world be if things satisfied us more than THE King? I don't always see it, but what a blessing He has given to let Himself be the only thing that satisfies, that we don't have to chase multiple things, but one thing, and when we do go chasing that He gives us an unsettling heart to lead us back home, to stop the chase.

i like to run….but that would be exhausting.

As i embark on Christmas endeavors i want the only dirt that i feel to be the the dirt that resembles the absolute meekness of the birth of our King, the simple and not glamorous stable He was born in. I don't believe there were many things that were clean that day, and so that is the dirt i want to coat myself in as i walk through this season.

Lord thank you for being a God that satisfies and the only thing that truely satisfies, for being a father that gives me someone to run back to when i've tested the waters that are unfulfilling, thank you for giving me one reason to run and one direction to run in. How beautiful are you!